Hidden Pain: Being the “Strong” Friend

Learn and Love DiversityThis was placed on my heart to write about 3 weeks ago. I kept putting it off because I’m currently in a rough season. I’m in a space where week after week, it’s something else. I told myself that I will write once I’m in a better season; not a surprising response for “the strong friend.”  However, here I am three weeks later writing this post with even more weight on shoulders. This post is not only for those who seek guidance and wisdom from their “strong friend” but it is also for the “strong friends.”

Even when you don’t speak, your strong friend is silently cheering for you. Even when you don’t speak, your strong friend is praying for you. Even when you say “everything is okay,” your strong friend sees the pain behind the wall that you’ve put up. When you do speak and you’re going through pain, your strong friend hurts for you. Your strong friend puts their own issues aside to consult you and then seek God on your behalf. Your strong friend tends to pray for everyone else more than they pray for themselves. Your strong friend has the gift of being understanding, empathetic, and not judging. They have a gift where when you speak they don’t just listen to the words that are coming out of your mouth. They are listening to the root of those words you speak. They can see the true problem you’re facing beyond the issue you think you’re having. Your strong friend loves you even in your mess.

On the outside it may seem like your strong friend faces their obstacles head on and conquers them without fear or a tear in their eye. However, this is a lie. The truth is your strong friend is just as human as you are. Beneath the surface, there’s obstacles they face that causes them pain. They get on their knees and pray for themselves through those moments just as hard as they pray for you. They may not seek you for guidance or wisdom in those moments but they first seek God and then seek their own “strong friend.” The “strong friend” who will drop to their knees and pray for them. The “strong friend” who can feel their pain and burden. The “strong friend” who reminds them of all the battles they’ve already won. The truth is your “strong friend” has moments when they feel like they are going to break too. Pray for your strong friend even when you think everything is going great in their life. Pick up the phone and don’t just ask them how they are, ask “How can I pray for you?”

For the “strong friend”: Let it all out, it is okay to cry. It is okay to feel overwhelmed. Behind those tears is the power of healing. For the people who say “wipe those tears,” Jesus wept and you can too. There is no such thing as being too strong to cry. In reality, you want to cry but instead you bottle up those feelings. Very soon that bottle is going to overflow and the hidden pain will erupt.

Month after month so many things have been happening in my life. Every month turned into every week and every week turned into every other day. Yesterday, I picked up the phone and called my strong friend. I told her that if one more thing happens I feel like I’m going to break. Guess what happened? This morning, one more thing happened and I just cried out. I just couldn’t bare to hold it in anymore. Just when I thought I surrendered everything to God, one more thing happened. Even in the midst of my tears, I sat and prayed. I listened to worship music and reminded myself of God’s promises.

The truth is, even the strong friends aren’t as strong as you think they are. Our strength comes from God. Your strong friend knows who to seek in times of trouble. Your strong friend reminds themselves of the promises God has for their life. Yet, your strong friend still has moments where they just cry it all out. Even with tears, they praise God and rejoice because they know victory is on the other side. During times of trouble, speak LIFE over yourself. Stop complaining, stop doubting, and SPEAK LIFE.

It is a season like this where God is positioning and preparing you for a higher level. Things will start to shift and it may feel like chaos. This is the time to get in position and get ready to receive what God has for you. Eliminate any distractions including those who leech onto you like a snake. Your obedience is far greater than your temporary feelings. God will place the right people in your life during the right season and He’ll also prompt you to rid yourself of some friendships/relationships before entering into a new season.

Here are some things I speak over myself when I’m going through a tough season:

  • “God I need you and I thank you for keeping me.”
  • “I cast all my worries unto You because You are my strength.”
  • “Weeping may endure for the night but my joy awaits me in the morning.”
  • “I am the head and not the tail. I am above and not beneath. I am the lender and not the borrower.”
  • “My family is blessed. I am blessed. My home is blessed. My finances are blessed. My mind is blessed.”
  • “My victory is on the other side and I thank you in advanced.”
  • “My battles have already been won before I knew they even existed. Thank you Lord!”
  • “The door is open and waiting for me. Not my timing but your timing Lord.”

I pray for anyone who may be reading this that needs an extra touch from the Lord. I speak peace over your life and over your home. I pray that you feel the Lord’s comfort during your time of need. You will seek the Lord first and surrender it all. Doors are opening for you right now and I come against any plans that the enemy has. God has a purpose and calling over your life. Seek the kingdom and everything else shall be added unto you. Lord you never said that the weapons wouldn’t form but you said they will not prosper. So I thank you Lord for equipping your children to withstand this battle and being victorious. I pray for complete restoration. In Jesus’s name, Amen.

<3bri

 

 

 

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