Praise God, you’re finally over your past hurt. You feel like a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulders and God came through above and beyond what you asked of him! You dodged that bullet, beautifully. You’ve prayed, fasted, read the Bible, and spent lots of time with God.

You’ve met someone and you think you’re ready to date but you’re still on the fence. We should be dating with the P U R P O S E to MARRY which is also known as courting! First and foremost, pray. Ask the Lord if this person is supposed to be in your life. I seriously seek God when new people enter into my life, friends included. I can’t afford to have someone blocking my blessings or distracting me from my purpose so I ask God if this person is supposed to be in my life. If I get a “no” then they are OUT. My cut off game is REAL.

However, if the Lord says that they are okay, I thank Him in advance because I know this person is in my life for a reason. If you have peace about this person, stop looking for reasons to flee. The thought of being hurt again is scary, yes I know. However, if you are healed and God has told you that this person was fine, then why are you doubting it? Also, stop putting a time limit on God’s timing. I’ve had conversations with people who say ‘Oh, yea we’re not going to make it official until we’re at least 9-12 months in.” Who are you to put a time on God’s perfect timing? You’ve prayed and asked God to bless you with someone who is perfect for you but when God strategically places them in your life, you’re stubborn and disobedient to his timing and direction. Don’t let your blessing slip right before you! You are to prepare and stay in position for every season.

Set standards and boundaries for this potential courtship:

Write out a list of negotiables and non-negotiables that you require of this person. The first non-negotiable that is on my life is:

  1. Jesus MUST be #1 in their life

If their heart is set on Jesus and they live for Him, things will fall into place. Don’t settle for someone to just say “Yea, I believe in God,” and their actions don’t align. It is never too early to pray, worship, and attend church together. Their love for Jesus won’t have to be verbalized because their actions and life will demonstrate it. Once you’ve gotten past the non-negotiables, make sure Jesus is always and forever the focus of your courtship. Seek wise counsels and have accountability partners. A great accountability partner to have during a courtship, is a married couple. They’ve been through the courting process and have a successful marriage to show for it. Stop listening to your single friends or aunt who has been divorced three times and is constantly bashing men.

All in all, the courting process is a beautiful thing. Ladies, it is important to remember that the man is the one who FINDS you, not the other way around. Don’t go making accounts looking for your Boaz. Your Boaz will find you.

“The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from the Lord.” – Proverbs 18:22

“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone?” –Ecclesiastes 4:9-11



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